Hey y’all! It’s been a while since my first blog post, and this whole ‘leaving everyone and everything I know while I go halfway around the world for nine months’ thing is getting real. Training camp is in three weeks, I have the vast majority of my gear, and I have appointments set up to get all the vaccines I need. During this process, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the business of getting ready to leave, and forget the “why”. During this time, God has been continually reminding me to keep the “why” in the forefront of my mind. When people used to ask me, “Why are you going on the World Race?”, my answer used to be, “Because I feel like God is calling me to do it”. While this is still true, lately my answer to the question, “Why are you going on the World Race?” has been, “Because I don’t want to get swallowed by a fish.” Now, I know that probably doesn’t make a lot of sense, so let me explain myself.
When I first committed to going on the Race, it was an easy thing to say yes to. The prospect of putting off college for a year while traveling the world and helping people was a dream come true. I prayed for months and months, and I knew that it’s what God wanted me to do, and I was so excited to dive into this exciting and unexpected new season of my life. Then, reality started to set in. I wasn’t going to see my family for nine months. I wasn’t going to be able to go on sunset drives with my friends, or watch my little brother play basketball, or sleep in my own bed. I would be behind my peers when it came to my education. I would come back with basically no money. I started to doubt God’s plan. Did He REALLY need me to go on a missions trip for NINE MONTHS? Should I look for something more short term? Would it REALLY hurt if I dropped out of the Race altogether? I struggled on and off with these doubts for a while, but it all came to a head when one of my squadmates transferred to a shorter Semesters trip a while back. To be completely honest, there was a week following this girl’s announcement that I seriously considered switching to a shorter trip, or throwing in the towel altogether and withdrawing from the Race. That same week, we talked about the story of Jonah in Wednesday night Bible study, and over the coming weeks the story of Jonah kept coming up everywhere I looked. Now, I grew up going to church multiple times a week, so I was obviously already very familiar with the story of Jonah, and probably most of you reading this are as well. God asked Jonah to go to Nineveh, but Jonah didn’t want to go, because going was outside of his comfort zone. He decided that he wanted to do things his way, and instead got on a boat to Tarshish to try to get out of what God had planned for him. In order to humble him, God sent a big fish to literally swallow Jonah, and he lived inside of this whale for three whole days. While Jonah was inside of the whale, he had a lot of time to think about what would have happened if he had been obedient to what God had asked of him. Would he have been stretched outside of his comfort zone if he had gone straight to Nineveh? Definitely. But would have going to Nineveh been ultimately better than spending three days inside of a giant fish? Definitely. After Jonah repented, God made the fish throw Jonah up on dry land, and he eventually made his way to where God wanted him. As a result, a great revival sprung up in Nineveh. Hearing this story while I was in the mindset of running away from what God wanted me to do was a giant slap in the face, but it was also God’s gentle reminder to me that He wants me to trust Him and do what He asks the first time. All of my squadmates who transferred to a Semesters trip did so because they had prayed about it and felt lead by the Spirit, and I’m so proud of them for listening and obeying. If I had transferred or dropped out, it would have been because I was running away from discomfort, spurred by my own doubts and distrust in God’s plan for my life.
I say all of this not to leave anyone with the impression that I am dreading the Race, or that I’m scared that something devastating would happen to me if I didn’t go. Instead, I want to share with you how God is teaching me to trust in Him and in His perfect plan for me. Like Jonah, I was coming up with excuses to not give in to what God wanted me to do. Thankfully, God impressed the story of Jonah on my heart before I could end up in my own version of the fish’s belly. I would much rather surrender myself to the Father and what He has for me, because if I do, He is going to stretch me and grow me and use me in ways that I can’t even imagine. Now, I am fully embracing the upcoming Race and everything that it will bring: the discomfort, the friendships, the ups and downs, the community, the learning, the growing, and experiencing God in ways that I would otherwise miss out on.
If you have read until now, thank you. Thank you for following my journey, and for listening to what I have to say. Please keep me in your prayers as I continue to work, fundraise, and prepare for my trip. Also, please keep the rest of my amazing squad in your prayers as well as they do the same. Stay tuned for another blog coming up this week! Side note: 21 days until training camp & 79 days until launch!
With love,
Nicole
